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Transcript

SPEAKER A

Hello and welcome to Ivy League Prep Academy podcasts, where we explore ideas for living a better life and preparing for the university of your choice. We're your hosts, Nathaniel and Steve.

SPEAKER B

Welcome. And today we're talking about the 15 invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell. Steve actually talked to us previously on a previous podcast about the first law that John Maxwell goes over, the law of intentionality. So if you missed that episode, then please go back and listen to it. It's fantastic episode about how growth doesn't just happen. You have to actually foster growth. Today we're talking about the second habit in the book, the Law of Awareness, how you must know yourself to grow yourself. And Steve, can you start us off? Tell us about that law and how it relates to what we're talking about today. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER A

I think if you look at outstanding performers around the world, right, in music, in sports, in business, in school, and more, you'll find that these are people who are honest about their own abilities. And they're not just honest, they are accurate. Right. They're able to understand where they're at. And it's not intimidating, it's not scary to be honest with themselves. They just recognize, okay, this is where I'm at now. And if I want to be at a higher level, if I want to improve, then I need to change. I need to improve, I need to do something about that improvement. So the question is just to begin, do you know what you're good at? Most people pay attention to what they like, what they enjoy, but many people neglect this self assessment around what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, where do you fall short? And sometimes it can be confusing. So it does make sense that people don't always focus on that. But if we can identify the gap between what you want to do and what you're able to do, then that enables you to close that gap, right? You can begin working on closing the gap. And so what this law boils down to is taking initiative, right? Don't fall into the trap. That thinking. Once you've identified your passion, everything will just magically work out that if you continue doing what you enjoy doing, then you'll automatically improve. Obviously, we have to be reflective and accurate about our own abilities so that we can take more strategic action towards improving in the areas that we want to improve.

SPEAKER B

That's interesting. It reminds me of the phrase know thyself, which is an old Greek aphorism that was inscribed on the temple of Apollo. And Socrates actually used that phrase quite a bit. He said, know thyself. So tell us, how do we know ourselves? How do we understand our strengths? And how do we honor our strengths and appreciate our strengths? What's kind of a formula for us to understand ourselves?

SPEAKER A

Yeah, I think that's a great question, right? If I don't know how good I am at self reflection. How do I even begin? And there are a number of tools that people use in business, right? Because it's often difficult to know whom to hire or who among all the great workers in the business deserves a bonus, deserves to move up in the company through a promotion of some kind, right? And so oftentimes, businesses will conduct surveys, and they'll ask people who know you well what your strengths and weaknesses are and how you respond to different challenges. And that process is actually just a good process for us to do proactively. So parents, siblings, close friends, teachers, people who know you well often can provide valuable insight. Of course, if they're intimidated by you, if they don't think that you are sincere in your desire to grow, then they might not give honest feedback, right? They might not be willing to put themselves on the line and risk that relationship. So they might not give you the feedback you're looking for. So it's important for you to be, I guess, vulnerable and to be honest about your intentions as well. Say, hey, this is my understanding. I feel like I'm here on this spectrum. How close am I? Based on your perspective, what would you say? And just getting some feedback from people who know you well. But again, that action requires that you begin somewhere. So I think it begins with desiring to improve. And perhaps the best way to start is just to look at what you would like to be, right? What would you like to become? And so, for example, if you'd like to be a better musician, try to honestly evaluate the things that you do well and the things that you struggle with. One thing that we like to do in our camp is to rate ourselves in a number of different ways. And so you can rate yourself in the different building blocks of the skill that you want to develop in music. You could rate your focus one to five. You can rate your dexterity, you can rate your pitch, your accuracy. You can rate your music theory, all of these things. You could rate it on a scale of one to five and then ask your music teacher or ask your peers that are studying with you to rate you as well and see if it matches up. And just that baseline understanding is really the first step.

SPEAKER B

All right, so perhaps just sitting down with a pen and paper and thinking through what attributes or qualities or talents or whatever that you would like to adopt into your life and into who you are, and then sounds like using just some effective goal setting skills to break those attributes into actionable. Steps that you can take toward the end goal of being proficient or being described perfectly as someone who has that attribute.

SPEAKER A

Yeah, I think that's where it begins as far as what you do with that information, setting goals is valuable. But Maxwell, John Maxwell would argue that at this point, it's time to get a cheat code right? Rather than just continuing to practice on your own and do the best based on your understanding. A better way to do this would be to find an expert, find a mentor, find someone who is further down the path to success and knows how to get from where you are now to where they have arrived and who can help you with that process. And these are people who can help you avoid major pitfalls that you don't know how to avoid because you don't know that they're coming. They can provide tremendous value. So when you're speaking to a mentor, when you seek someone's advice or support, it's really important, according to John Maxwell, to be prepared and be teachable. Let them know that you value their time, that you value their experience and their intelligence. Try to be prepared. Prepare intelligent questions to ask, and then always, always demonstrate that you value what they say by integrating it into your practice. So go back and do the things that they ask you to do. This is how they know that they can trust you. They trust that this is meaningful for you, and you're going to go do it. So here are kind of the things that John Maxwell says in order. First of all, get committed. Decide that this is your thing. You're going to improve in this area and figure out where you're at, right? Start from this basis of a clear understanding so that you can grow. And then pay people for time if necessary. Find a mentor. Pay for the mentor. Pay for the class if you need to. If you don't need to, that's okay, too. If you've got someone who can mentor you and teach you without additional pay, that's great. But be committed and then be consistent. Make it purposeful. Make it consistent. So agree. Is it a daily touch point or a weekly or monthly? Quarterly. How often do you meet with this expert, with the mentor? Make it purposeful. Make it meaningful. Then be creative. If you can't meet with this person in person, use online platforms like Zoom to gain that feedback and read their notes, listen to their podcasts and read their books, things like that. Okay? Be purposeful again. Spend hours in preparation before those interactions and reflect after you meet with the expert, reflect on everything that you did and said so that you can integrate those completely. And finally, he says, be grateful. This is a gift that someone is giving you their time, their expertise. Be grateful for that gift. And the best way to show that gratitude is to do the things that you're asked to do so that you can see that improvement happen right before your eyes.

SPEAKER B

That's a really poignant principle that you've shared. So for those who don't know, I've been a nonprofit executive for about ten years and have spent a lot of time, years of time in East Africa learning about East African culture and actually teach business principles to people that live in extreme poverty.

SPEAKER A

Right. The company, by the way, is Marafiki Africa, and it's a fantastic organization, one of the pure, beautiful humanitarian organizations out there. So just a quick props to you there.

SPEAKER B

Thanks.

SPEAKER A

Sorry to interrupt.

SPEAKER B

Well, and as you go over these tips and these principles and these quite meaningful engagements that you're describing, where someone can find a mentor to help them through the process, this is something that I experience all the time, especially as I'm in East Africa teaching small business owners how to grow and develop a business. And I have found that the business owners who come with a notebook and pencil ready to write down every tip that I give them and then immediately start using them and then follow up with me saying, thank you so much, it's made this huge difference in my business. What do you have next? I will go out of my way to help that business owner significantly out of my way. And I would rather help that business owner than the sometimes hundreds of other business owners who have applied to receive some type of mentorship or help from our organization because of the way that that particular business owner has treated the knowledge or mentorship that we've given to them. And so as you describe these ways to effectively find and use a mentor, I can't help but think through being on the other side of that as a mentor. Mentors love to share their knowledge, and they love to guide the hero through this challenge. But it does take a certain kind of language and gratitude and personability in those interactions with the mentor to make it the most effective possible.

SPEAKER A

Yeah, I think putting yourself in a position where someone wants to teach you is if we were to summarize all those steps, you do that by being grateful, by making it meaningful, by being prepared, and by implementing the action steps that you're given. Absolutely. I love that.

SPEAKER B

So are there any other tips for working with mentors or finding or incorporating the things they teach? Anything else you want to share there?

SPEAKER A

I would say, just to kind of summarize, we need to identify not just what you want to do, but if you want to be successful in what you do, what are the talents, skills, what are the opportunities that you need to take advantage of, to develop yourself so that you can be successful in the arena that you want to be in? And then once you've identified that, identify the steps that you need to take to get there. Figure out who you can find that can give you the cheat codes. What kind of expert is there that's willing to give you the cheat codes for your journey? And then ultimately, you need to decide what price are you willing to pay? And that price is in time, it's in resources you might need to pay for the cheat codes in some instances. What kind of sacrifices do you need to make? What kind of opportunity costs do you give up by choosing these costs instead? Ultimately, that is the process that we go through to take us from where we are now to where we want to be.

SPEAKER B

Well, Steve, thanks again for going through law number two, the law of awareness. Knowing yourself and then growing yourself, using mentors and incorporating these principles to actionably. Become the best person that you can become.